Back to Earth…

So yesterday was a bit crazy.When Colleen announced her representation of me on Twitter, my blog/twitter hits exploded for the next few hours. (And I got to see it all unfold live via my Woopra application – tons of little pings from all over the country – what people were reading on the blog, where they came from, how long they hung out – all in real-time.) Lots of emails. Lots of DMs. Lots of well-wishes and congratulations and questions on how I managed it.  (And isn’t that the trick question?? Although I did find it amusing that I had quite a few hits on my query and query letter tags. There’s no big secret here, folks. I wrote a book, I wrote a query, I followed submission guidelines, I got rejected, I sent it out again, etc. Rinse and repeat.)

Today, we’re back down to normal levels as far as visitors go. Which is fine – it could be I’m just not that cool a blogger. Though I do have to say I feel a bit more under the microscope, which isn’t something I’m overly used to. Not complaining, mind. Just observing.

But the interesting thing is that I seem to be hovering in a sort of limbo. @pauljessup mentioned that I needed to change my blog profile – now that I have an agent, I’m not really a writer wanna-be anymore. I thought it was a good point, so I did update it. Though I do think it’s a fine line. You’re either a writer or you’re not. If you write…well, I guess you’re a writer, right? For me, the distinction is getting paid for you work. People write for fun all the time and I would consider them writers. Actually getting it published makes you an author. (And no, I’m not getting into the argument of self-pubbing vs standard pubbing – this is just my own personal boundary).

But in the end, nothing has changed. I’ve moved up to the next level in on the road to getting pubbed, but I’m not there yet. I’m taking an online version of  Bob Mayer’s Warrior Writer workshop over at FF&P, though I’m mostly lurking at the moment. But it is amazing to me to see that so many writers, aspiring and otherwise still have the same sorts of fears and hopes.  Fear of success. Fear of failure. Maybe they amount to the same thing. Maybe it’s what keeps a writer writing? Hard to say. I’d be lying if I didn’t say I feel a bit intimidated at the moment. Sure, I got the magical agent…but what happens if the book doesn’t sell? What happens if it does, but the next one sucks donkey ass? What if this whole process just shows the world what an utter hack I am?

I try not to think about that too much, honestly, but the thoughts do creep up a bit. Best advice is to just keep writing and take the hurdles as they come, I suppose.  (And follow submission guidelines!)