Reading My Own Words

So I got a final ecopy of A Sliver of Shadow today. It’s not for public consumption, mind – I can’t go sending it off to people. But it’s useful to have.  For one thing, I can fact check against it as I finish up the last of A Trace of Moonlight. (And by finish, I mean…eh, one chapter to go and then revise like the wind? But still – it’s good to have something definitive I can look back on to make sure certain things were included…or not.)

Plus, I put quotes on the back of my trading cards, and I need to find some good ones for the latest set so I can get them all printed up.

It’s interesting, though. I don’t usually go back and reread my books. I don’t know if that’s just a mental “I’m done with this story now” or some sort of mild embarrassment that I produced it.

It’s  like giving birth and being happy it’s out…and then someone hands you this stinky, drooly thing that’s sorta cute and sorta horrifying and you’re vaguely happy it’s all over, but there’s a part of you that wants to just shove it back whence it came and go to Denny’s for a Moons Over My Hammy because it’s 3 AM and you’ve just had an 18 hour bender of pain, chased by a cocktail of Pitocin.

(Why no, I haven’t had too many cookies today. Why do you ask?)

Anyway, once I get past all that, the book passes the basic test for me – which is that once I start reading, I actually forget that I wrote it. (At least on some level. That’s how I know it works.)

But just randomly flipping through it is sometimes hard. For one thing? There’s no going back. It’s difficult to read a passage or a phrase and think “Shit, I could have done better than that. I suck and should probably drink more.” On the other hand, it’s really nice to be pleasantly surprised on the other end of the scale. “Holy shit. *I* wrote this. I’m awesome.”

On a related note, it’s also somewhat iffy when you read something that you FORGOT you wrote. Particularly when you’ve been referencing about said thing in the next book that didn’t happen the way you indicate and then it’s all herrrr durrr herpderp and downhill from there.  (Yeah, maybe I need to start keeping one of those writer’s bibles or something.)

And speaking of third books? Yeah, I know I said I would wrap it all up nice and neat..and it sorta will be. But it sorta won’t. I think there’s a 4th Abby story in here yet, so stay tuned…